My supervisor asked me, "What are you so afraid of?" Well, I worked it out.
Atychiphobia
Atychiphobia
I have recently been successful in gaining a five month secondment as a, well, the Research Librarian. The success of the future of Research support at the Library rests on my shoulders for the next five months. I'm super excited!
... and also worried. I know the stuff, and I can do the stuff, but there is always the fact that I am, well, me.
Why am I so worried? Well, I worked it out. I consider the possibility of failure so terrifying, that over a long period of time I have subconsciously undermined my own efforts so that I no longer had to try. I have settled for mediocrity to avoid the risks associated with distinguishing myself.
The fear is disproportionate, and irrational, and this Doctorate is part my attempt to realise my potential.
No more excuses. I am going to smash it.
