From student to researcher

So, I'm still struggling with the 'writing up' part of research. I don't think I'm alone in this.

It is not writing that is the problem, per se, but the writing of anything that could be considered scholarly or 'publishable'. It is as if the possibility of being judged not good/smart/academic enough is keeping me from putting anything down on paper. Maybe.

Reflective, I can do. Critical, I can do. Scholarly, not so much.

When I was an undergrad I wrote an article that was really excellent, and original. My lecturer said that I should submit it to the undergraduate research journal. I didn't. What on earth would make me NOT submit something like that? 

Joy Higgs lists writing retreats (time set away from distractions and regular work) as a way to engage in intense writing. But how does a full-time professional working person set the time aside so completely? How do I switch off the demands of finances, family, work, and friends to commit to this? Which is funny, because I'm writing this post during a Shut up and Write Tuesday #suwtues session.

There are presentations, informal articles, and blog posts galore, but I still have not written a single, peer-reviewed journal article. My extensive list of abandoned co-writers grows, and not a single article is submitted. What is going on? I'm not lazy, incompetent, or mean (as far as I know).

Frustration with myself is becoming a constant.

The idea of being an author, a researcher, or writing a scholarly work, is so unfamiliar. The transition from student to researcher (or researcher-practitioner) is not one that is guided by clear directions, or by a single mentor, but by a gradual and unconfortable 'becoming'.

Developing independence and autonomy is not easy, or fun. Nor does it give me a sense of freedom. It leaves me exposed, naked and vulnerable. 'Inadequacy' and 'rawness' are the words that spring to mind.

Even this act of writing about myself is uncomfortable. It brings a narcissistic, selfish, and petty individual to life. It is the actualisation of my shameful thoughts and assumptions about others. I'm reminded of the scene from Ferngully the Last Rainforest, when Hexus starts to feed on pollution, and, as he feeds, turns from a tiny dark droplet of grease into a full blown anthropomorphised creature of evil. That is my ego, see?

I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to let my supervisors down. I don't want to let my colleagues, friends, or family down. Mostly, I don't want to fail. Failure is bettter than not trying. Failure is better than not trying. Failure is better than not trying.  Im trying to convince myself... Can you tell?

Shame, fear, and loathing...

Yesterday, I came to the official and conscious realisation that I do not believe that I am worthy of love and belonging.

In her TEDx talk The Power of Vulnerability, researcher Brené Brown defines 'shame' as 'the fear of disconnection: "Is there something about me, that if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection?" - a feeling of "excruciating vulnerability".' I saw the video, I thought "That's me", and then I moved on to the next task on my list, trying to prove to myself that I am worthwhile.

Yesterday, "That's me", came to the surface and slapped me across the face like a carp.

Rationally, my conscious and logical mind can tell me I'm not a bad person (just annoying), and that everyone deserves love, and that I am not a complete failure at life.

Subconsciously, I am writhing in a steamy, slimy pit of self-loathing and fear. I worry constantly that somehow I am going to get found out, and then everyone will hate me, and I will be alone.

Brené found that the thing that people who do have connection, a sense of worthiness, and who know they have value, were people who felt they could tell their whole story. People who are brave enough to be imperfect, and truly authentic...

So, how does a person who does not know who they are, be authentic?

Well first of all, it would help if I knew I could trust that if I actually go ahead and post this, that it won't destroy me.

Why my doctorate is NOT a PhD…

Note: This post was originally published on ReDBlog - the official edited blog contributed to, and written for, the Higher Degree by Research (HDR) student community at the University of Southern Queensland (USQ), on the 27th July 2016

The Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) is a doctoral qualification which has been formally awarded by universities since the Middle Ages.

A university class (1350s).  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Laurentius_de_Voltolina_001.jpg

The aim of a PhD is usually to provide someone with the skills they need to become a ‘scholar’. But, what if you don’t want to be a ‘scholar’?

In Australia, today, the PhD is one of a number of Doctoral level degrees that meet the criteria for Doctoral study, which the highest level of qualification according to the Australian Qualifications Framework.

There are 3 main types of Doctoral degree in Australia;

A PhD is used to show that a student can “conduct research independently and make a significant contribution to new knowledge” (USQ handbook), or, ‘be a researcher’.

A Professional Doctorate allows someone who is already a practising professional to develop theoretical and research skills within a specific field or discipline.

The Doctor of Professional Studies (DPS) allows you to combine your professional work with study and obtain an ‘interdisciplinary’ or ‘trans-disciplinary’ doctoral degree based entirely in your workplace.

While a PhD makes an original contribution to knowledge, the DPS specifically aims to make a significant contribution to practice. Outcomes do not need to be entirely academic, but can consist of artefacts such as project reports, software, or products.

Although it is established at a number of universities in the US and the UK, USQ is one of only two universities in Australia which offers a DPS .

The program Director, Dr Luke Van der Laan, is passionate enough about the program that I was convinced very quickly it was the right program for me.

I’m still convinced, 18 months (and many frustrations and tears) later…

For more information, see: Helen Wildy, Sanna Peden & Karyn Chan (2015) “The rise of professional doctorates: case studies of the Doctorate in Education in China, Iceland and Australia”, Studies in Higher Education, 40:5, 761-774, DOI: 10.1080/03075079.2013.842968

Well, that solves that problem!

The Doctorate of Professional Studies is unique in that it's outcomes specifically include the exceptional professional practice of the researcher.

One of my peers (and all round info wizard), Tim McCallum, has been working on a project that aims to reveal the full text of the outcomes of publicly funded research. This is a topic close to my heart, so I have been following the development of http://openaccess.xyz with interest.

Tim wanted to address the issue that Google Scholar indexes only a percentage of Australia's full text open access research output available via institutional repositories. In order to find all of the full-text content, each institutional repository would need to be searched individually, or you would need to search Trove (the Australian National Library service). Important to note is that Trove only allows a search of bibliographic data, not the full text of the items. 

This is a problem because it reduces the visibility, accessibility, and impact of Australian research, which has implications for international research grant funding and global rankings.

Openaccess.xyz indexes and allows searching of the full text of all research outputs made available online. It also allows you to se a visual representation of the use of your search words/terms over time. It solves a unique and troubling problem in a nifty way. I have used it to find 3 crucial articles that I have otherwise been unable to find for my own studies. 

There is also the capacity to include literature not otherwise available through major databases such as government reports, business and industry documents, and other grey literature useful for research.

In my view there are still some small issues with the search algorithm, which may need tinkering. The ability to do phrase searching would be beneficial. I'm sure Tim would welcome your feedback, so get in touch with him @mistermac2008 

Futures Studies

This post was originally published on 8th March 2016 in Brain-Work: The Centre for Evidence Based Library and Information Practice (C-EBLIP) blog here: http://words.usask.ca/ceblipblog/ 

"In March 2015, I started as a student in the Doctorate of Professional Studies (DPST) program. I wanted to find out why librarians are ‘doing’ information practice so far behind what is relevant in the current information environment. Obviously, we are all at different places and have different strengths in regards to our professional practice, but generally, as a group, librarians are, well, behind the information use of our clientele. Just admit it.

Scholarly communication has been transformed. The world in which information professionals operate has been disrupted, and embracing these changes allows for a much broader scope for the roles we play. I wanted, really, to shake things up. After reading tonnes of the literature, debating with myself, and arguing with the DPST Program Director about how I was going to address the problem, I was introduced to causal layered analysis (CLA).

CLA is a ‘futures studies’ methodology which was introduced by Sohail Inayatullah in 1998. The original paper can be found here. Professor Inayatullah is a practitioner of futures studies, the interdisciplinary study of postulating possible, probable, and preferable futures. But how can this possibly be scientific? I mean, how can it be possible to collect evidence from a future that hasn’t happened yet? It is a paradox which has not been ignored by practitioners.

Futures studies is a growing transdisciplinary field which has embraced such fields as systems thinking, education, hermeneutics, macrohistory, sociology, management, ecology, literature, ethics, philosophy, planning and others. It is an integrated field ‘with many lines of inquiry weaved together’ to create a complex whole (Ramos 2002).
The discipline uses a systematic and pattern-based approach to analysing the sources, patterns, and causes of change and stability in the past (history, economics, political science) and present (sociology, economics, political science, critical theory) in an attempt to develop foresight and determine the likelihood of future events and trends.

De Jouvenel (1965), an early futures theorist, likened forecasting or ‘the art of conjecture’ to the science of the meteorologist. Weather forecasts can be prepared reasonably accurately for each of the next few days. A forecast for more than a month in advance can be based on patterns, such as normal temperatures and precipitation, and other factors which may affect these in relation to the average. There is no way for a meteorologist to, with any certainty, say what the minimum and maximum temperature and precipitation levels on a particular day one month in the future will be. The meteorologist may, however, be able to say that it is likely that we will have above average rainfall, or that temperatures will be below average. A futures study considers patterns of power and privilege, social institutions, religion, and history, to postulate possible future states that may recur.

The causal layered analysis method, specifically, is not used to predict the future, but rather to create ‘transformative spaces for the creation of alternative futures’ (Inayatullah 1998). It is an action research method for increasing the probability of a preferred future by examining the problems, systems, worldviews and myths of the present. It is about human agency – using what we know about the past, to act in the present, in order to create/shape the future we would like to see.

Just imagine librarians in your own workplace, critically examining their own current problems, existing systems, worldviews, and subconscious myths and mythologies, to transform their practice. Perhaps you are starting to see why I decided to use the causal layered analysis method in my research.

I’m currently preparing for Confirmation of Candidature. Professor Inayatullah has agreed to be one of my supervisors. I think that makes me a *ahem* futures theorist.

If you are interested in finding out more I recommend this article by Professor Inayatullah on Library Futures published in The Futurist magazine."

References:

Inayatullah, S 1998, ‘Causal layered analysis: Poststructuralism as method’, Futures, vol. 30, no. 8, pp. 815–829.

De Jouvenel, B 1965, The Art of Conjecture, Trans. by Nikita Lary. Weidenfeld and Nicholson, London.

Ramos, JM 2002, ‘Action Research as Foresight Methodology’, Journal of Futures Studies, vol. 7, no.1, pp. 1-24.

Library Philosophy

A brief and muddled comment on Charles B. Osburn's The Social Transcript (2009)

Investigating and summarising the literature on the 'functions' of the Library seems either too easy or impossible. First of all, there is very little literature of any substance, and secondly, I can't agree with some of it. What does that mean for me as a librarian, apparently dedicating myself to a profession located in an institution whose functions, as espoused by the literature, i would like to challenge?

Osburn finds some of the core 'functions' of the library found in the literature...

Library as:

an agent of communication

a force for cohesion

useful to the individual (flexibility and relevance)

serving society (storage and preservation of knowledge)

Benge (1970) pointed out the "unresolved and possibly inherent contradictions" within the foundations of librarianship. I can see the obvious tensions between the relevance and usefulness, and the storage and preservation, of knowledge. My concern is that the storage and preservation aspects are currently limiting the library's ability to remain flexible and relevant to the individual. Not in all actual library services, but in a deeper, more subconscious way (in the minds of librarians).

Also, the one thing I feel libraries dont do very well is communicate. It comes back in our surveys, and our conversations with clients: "I didn't know you did that" and "Why doesn't the library advertise this?"  The biggest gap in our client satisfaction survey is almost always to do with communication with clients. 

Giant fail.

Osburn identifies a set of themes as they relate to 'sense of place' of the library. These themes are: Ideas, Memory, Values, Imagination & creativity, and Intellectual comfort. That speaks to me as the library was always a 'safe space' for me, and these words feel 'safe'.

The confusion is that the library "is at once a producer, a medium, and a product of cultural evolution" (Osburn 2009). Perhaps we are forgetting that we are 'producers'. 

After reading the book, I found it's conclusion to be an anticlimax. Over 300 pages long, rigourous, academic, and 'dense' reading, it eventually sums up library philosophy in two words: "people" and "ideas". I would add a word: "learning". 

People, learning, and ideas. 

I can be a librarian in that library.